Regressing Revision

It's been an interesting day. I was quite focused with my revision and did quite a bit although I still ended the day feeling like I should have done more. So here I am, almost midnight and still staring at my open books. It's been a interesting few days. Mom came to visit for a short period and I had fun being spoilt but it was a little bit unnerving as well. We practically lived in the same room which left no room for personal space which made it difficult for me. I love my company but I've discovered recently within these years how much I love my space as well. Every once in a while, I need to rejuvenate my spirit and soul by spending time alone.

The other tactic I've been trying to learn is the quality of silence. A friend said to me "don't be a stranger" today which is definitely new. :) I don't think I've ever had a anyone say that to me before but what he does not realize is that I'm quiet because I'm learning how to enjoy my own company; not crave for someone else's. In effect, perhaps one can say that I'm learning how to grow up. I believe it's working. I concentrate on my work more, less distractions, etc. It's a good sign. Let's hope it continues.

And then reality interferes...

...With my life, that is. :( It's irritating that no matter how long you leave for a vacation, it always catches up with you in the end. Terrible that one cannot fully enjoy their holiday without thinking of it. *sigh* Ok, I admit, I'm grumpy. It's not even 8am GMT+8 and I'm already at the airport waiting to fly out to heathrow - trust me when I say you cannot understand the state of chagrin that I'm in. It's rather irritating. One, I'm not a morning person. Two, I was up before dawn and three, I'm going back to revise for my exams. It can't really get any better than that right?

I miss Curly already. Mom left last night for Paris - I'm so jealous that she's on a night flight. *argh!* I'll be meeting up with her in London on Friday. So hopefully, if I work hard enough, I'll get a lot of work done and then it'll be ok. I really need to get my act together when it comes to my studying. It's starting to scare me, just a little...

Traditionalism, Protectionalism - whichever, whatever...

I really hate it when my mother criticizes what I wear. This is definitely part of the reason why I cannot live with her under her rules anymore. I am no child - DO NOT treat me like one. There is nothing I hate more than being patronized. Today, for instance, as soon as she got home I got looks about the low cut top I was wearing in preparation to go out. I have a few things to say about this one. As I mentioned, I'm not 12 anymore, I'm 21. It might not be a big difference to her but it's a difference she missed. If she holds any influence in my life now, it's because I let her - no less. Two, most people would compliment me instead of cutting eyes at me in indication. Believe it or not, it's a pretty top. When someone else is wearing it, it's pretty. When I am, it's not... You can't have it both ways. That's childish and even I haven't been accused of that yet. Three, I like it, I'm wearing it. If you don't like it, you can stuff it. For once in my life, I wish she would understand all of the above. Idiocy.

Yep, I'm feeling better. My god-brother and I are going into town in a bit. I can't decide whether we're going to Boat Key or Muhammad Sultan. Wherever it is, I'm following the alcohol. Seems like the place to be after spending 2 mins in my mother's company. Sometimes, I wonder why I bother to come home. The harrassment can get harsh...

Always,
L x