At no one's beck and call

My friends are very important to me but sometimes, they disappoint me. I'm fairly tolerant when it comes to friendships and I would never dream of judging them for what they've done or said but there is always one thing which gets me every time. I cannot stand it when people don't follow through with their promises. Whether it's a small thing like setting up a lunch appointment and not following through or something more significant like missing a ceremony, it is my belief that people should never promise to do things they don't mean to follow through with. Such actions illustrate a great amount of irresponsibility and insensitivity. Sad to say, I have a few friends like this and it's come to the point where I do not expect anything from them anymore. If they say that they'll call, I'll happily continue on with my schedule and if they do eventually call and I'm engaged, I guess you can say it's their loss. Even to me, that sounds like a harsh line to take but we've all got a limit. As it is, this is mine.

Omens and callings

I have had this vision of flying. Yesterday, in the midst of my mind wanderings, I thought about it - maybe too much. Stepping out of my 46th floor window with arms spread wide and simply giving myself to the care of the wind. It's strange how that image has stuck in mind, almost like a calling.

I spoke to T yesterday and he told me that we need to work on keeping in touch. Naturally, I agreed since it had been a while from our last conversation but of course, I blamed it all on him. After all, it can't really be my fault right? ;) I miss him. More than ever now that we've established his elusiveness. At first I thought that coming home will take away all my issues which arose when I was in the UK and to a certain extent, it did. Yet somehow, I seem to have lost all the ground gained in Cardiff; more specifically, the small group of friends I relied on for pick-me-ups on blue days. Sure, I have my friends here but it's not the same. We're not as close as we used to be: people change after all. The best example comes in the form of one of my oldest friends. I met up with her randomly yesterday only to find that we had nothing to talk about anymore. It was too bizarre. We were a lot closer three weeks ago and now... I'm not really sure what happened.

So lately, I've fallen back into my job hunting phase again. Although to be completely honest, it's not done whole-heartedly. I've been procrastinating and Goddess knows exactly how good I am at procrastinating. It's awful. I wish I could motivate myself but wow, it's tough. Everything else I jump at doing but when it comes to applications, I'm so slack. Forcing myself hasn't really helped either. I have filled in and emailed some but not enough. Need to find that button that hits the booster on this process. :P Easier said than done though.

For the moment, I'm stuck in the house. Typhoon Pabuk has just left our vicinity and in its wake, tropical rainstorms. Never pleasant in this humidity. Still it should not stop me from going to the temple which I am quite happy to do. After all, the need for me to go is strong and dismissing one such omen is bad news. My Gods and Goddesses are forgiving but this is just pure laziness. ;) Well, on that note, it's into that shower and out the door for me.