Professional Procrastinator

It's been so long since I had time chill on my own. So much has happened since my arrival in Cardiff. Most are unexpected but some were given I suppose.

I haven't been back to mine since Monday night. It's a long complicated story and not worth going through but I just didn't need to feel any sort of tension so I did what I do best: I left. I spoke to Priya today. It's been so long since I had actaully seen or spoken to her so I felt really good after our conversation. Speaking of which, Nish is having her birthday party at Metro's. I think the world shook at that one. I have no idea what happened! Nish of all people! I'm shattered... Just kidding. Honestly tho, those of you who know Metros will understand what I'm talking about. Even Foz, who loves Metros, will agree with me when I say that it's pretty much a dingy, dark hole in the ground.

Anyway, the exams are in less than three weeks. I need to get my ass on the role. It's not happening. Mom said that procrastinating is addictive. I'm starting to think that she's right. Gramps says that I'm a professional procrastinator. Again, he's probably right too. Damn the parents. Can't they be wrong once in a while. sigh... Oh well, I suppose i should be getting the reading done. And there's the options to choose next year... Adios!

Last day of being a teenager

Whenever anyone finds out that it's my birthday tomorrow, they always ask what I wish for. Perhaps it's customary and perhaps they genuinely think that everyone constantly has something they want, something tangible, something material. Lately, I've been contemplating: if I were to die tomorrow, is there anything I would particularly emphasize on as being lacking in my life? A good boyfriend says Foz. Perhaps... But after spending some time thinking about it, if I were to die tomorrow, I believe I'd die satisfied and content.

It just so happened that mom and I had a conversation today akin to this topic. We came to the conclusion that I've seen it, been there and done it all in comparison to most three times my age. In that sense, I've always been extremely lucky. There is nothing I lack and not much I seek. If I want something, it's more or less a passing phase. If unfulfilled, it is unlikely to leave me excessively distressed in any shape or form.

I have often been questioned about why I accept the consequences of choices others have chosen for me: my degree, my resident country over the holidays, etc. I used to think - what is a little grievance to make others happy when I have been given the world and more? But now I know and how I wish I could be as selfless as the statement portrays me to be but truthfully, it is easier to have other people make decisions for you when you have no notion of which direction you are headed in.

At the end of the day, the ungrateful wretch in me hangs her head shamefully for she knows, better than all, that the choices made were those made with her best interest in mind. Thus, this birthday, I wish for nothing except to thank all those who have touched my life and aided me to grow, given me opportunities to venture forth and experience what the world has to offer. May you always light my path and guide me in the right direction as I walk through and learn from the jungle of politics, challenges, false successes and my very worst enemy: myself.

Thank you all...