Adding salt to the wound

I got back from the Isle on Thursday to meet both T and Sam for dinner in Picadilly. I hadn't had Korean food in over a year so that definitely made my day. My world cracked a little today. It took me a year to build the walls around me so that I could remain 'inhuman' (as T calls it) to men and the emotional feelings they provoke. Somehow, one managed to slip under the radar and my wall immediately became useless. It was a while before I realized that the growing discomfort within me had everything to do with how frustrated I was at my own stupidity. I was so angry at myself for letting this person in, for allowing them to hurt me. T always insists that at the beginning of every relationship, there's a point in time where one can decide to pull away or to follow through and just let it happen. I'm starting to believe that he may just be right. Like every woman who claims she'll never be that stupid, I committed the classic mistake and allowed myself to be seduced by empty words. Fantasy and reality often seem closer than they truly are. It hurts when you fall hard from one to another because it is then that you realize they're on two completely different wavelengths. What makes it worse is when you knew it was coming.